Pen Pal Experiences
I
have published POSITIVE personal experiences
from people who already write with prisoners from my website!
Purpose was/is to hopefully inspire and motivate MORE
people to
write to the people that are listed here.....
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My own experience:
I write with Indian prisoners since
1997. So far my own personal
experiences writing with prisoners is really good, although in the
beginning I was somewhat naive and to bad two guys took advantage
of it, and played games with me. But still I have found myself some
great friends behind bars! Sure there are 'rotten apples'; people
who want to mislead you or play games, but to me that has nothing
to do with the fact that they are prisoners, but the fact that they
are human beings. Because you will find ‘bad’ people everywhere.
A lot of people have asked me if it isn’t 'scary' or 'dangerous' to
get involved with prisoners. Well, I think when you are dealing with
people in general (whether they are behind bars or not) you have to be
aware of the fact that yes, people can be 'scary'.... However, people
who have a criminal background, or perhaps made one mistake in their
life that has put hem in the system, don’t necessarily have to be more
dangerous than others! If I look at the world today, I’m afraid there
are a lot more dangerous people outside in the free world then there
are locked up!!
Jessie
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The first
experience came in from a woman named Rian;
"When I got internet, The first thing I did was trying to get information
about Native Americans. One of my interests that I had for a long time.
Among all the web-site pages I found a number of web-sites with pen-pal
ads. One of those pages was made by Jessie Metz. I went back to that site
several times, I had many doubts, I never had contact with prisoners before,
what could I expect? But the thought of writing didn't let me go. I had
been reading most of the ads several times, and some of them really touched
me somehow. So....one day I just decided that I should write, I wouldn't lose
anything if I did, and it was an opportunity for me to learn more about
Native Americans. I wrote a couple of standard letters with a little bit of
information about myself, and waited. After a week or so, I got my first
letters back. That was around February this year, so I'm just writing for
a couple of months now, but it really touched me how many joy one letter
can bring, just by saying: "Hey, I want to be there for you." First you
have a polite standard letter, and now there is a true friendship developing.
It's amazing. The only thing I regret is that I didn't start writing sooner.
I'm even thinking about more pen-pals, because it really is a great
experience..."
Rian, Holland
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And here's Elija's input:
Hi,
This is Elija and my
experiences with prisoners are quite
a harrowing experience. I am writing with quite a few
prisoners and represent them as artists. Their is one prisoner
who is a lifer and innocent, which is very sad. Also a lot of
the guys and women I write to are in prison because they have
a drink problem and get into trouble. they need help, not prison.
Also I have found a lot of them are poor and that is a hard thing
to be in the Us of A. I found a lot of Indian prisoners keep a
positive attitude, they try to stay on the Red Road of spirituality
(which is following traditional Indian ways,) and then try to stick
to that when they come out. It is very helpful if people from the
outside world write in to Indian prisoners as it helps them stay
focused and an encouraging word from the outside can be very
important. So I urge people to write.
Elija van den Berg, UK
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This one is from Julie, who lives in Australia:
"Dear Jessie
I write to one of your inmates. I was, like a lot of others, at first
hesitant to become involved. However I wrote and now have a wonderful
relationship with my "bad boy". I have never asked what he did to wind
up in "the iron horse" and he has never told me, I don't think I ever
want to know. I am an older married woman and regard "my prisoner" as
a son. When I write I just tell him what is happening with the family,
funny things that happen in our small town and about our pets and the
wild birds we feed on our veranda. I f anybody is thinking of writing,
go ahead, you will receive a wonderful gift of love and warmth from
the person you write to."
Julie Ann Matthews, Australia
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Loes (who was my voluntary assistant) her experience:
Hello everyone!
Just to tell you that is great to write with people who have an ad
on this site. I'm writing with a few people and with each there is
different way of writing: with one I have a quite serious correspondence
and with another a more fun one. There is one thing that all my pen pals
have in common: they are very glad to read something from wherever! Most
of the people in prisons don't have contact with their family and friends
anymore so everything from others makes them happy and makes their time
easier to take. Even if they have contact with their family and friends
it's great to make new friends in this way. I started to write with people
because I love to write and through this site I found people who are really
looking for contact with the world outside of the iron houses. It's good to
see and to experience that there are friendships growing in this way and
I'm looking forward for the mail ever day in the hope there will be a letter
from America! I hope this little writing will make you want to write with
one (or some) of the people who are on this site and that you will get a
great friendship (s) out of it!
With love from Loes, Holland
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This is what Linda from the UK has to say:
My name is Linda and
I come from England.
For about a year now, I have been thinking of writing
to prisoners, I found a good few sites but nothing like
yours. This is wonderful work you do!
l will be writing for the first time to a Native gentleman
called James (Ranyi). As a child I have always been so very
interested in the Native Americans...I traveled for a month
in Canada and met a few tribes
l would be so very proud and happy if Michael writes back!
Thank you so much for a wonderful web site!
Yours, Linda
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And here is Peggy her wonderful story:
My name is Peggy and
I would like to share my experiences with corresponding
with N.A. imprisoned pen-pals. I am writing for about three years now. During
that time I met some beautiful people through writing. One of them I wrote
with for about 1.5 years, he was my rock when my father passed over to the
spirit world last day. Sadly, when my friend was released in October last year,
he died in a fight three weeks later, he could not cope with the free world
anymore, neither could he cope with life in prison, so he went back to his old
habits, drugs and alcohol. He had been in prison for 7.5 years. Really very
sad, but he was a wonderful, loving, caring friend to me and his spirit is
still around me as he is encapsulated in my heart forever.
Luckily not all is sad. I have still 7 other pen-pals. Some of them call me
their sister, which is a great honor and a big responsibility. Some of them
teach me in the old ways, but every single one of them is very very special
to me. Only one of them took advantage of me, well I allowed him to, but even
though I know this and even though he is waiting his life (he got out of prison
and already violated his parole three times, he is bound to be back in prison
for a longer period of time if he continues to live the way he does now), I'll
still be his friend until he doesn't need me no more. I know now who he is,
what he is and that is enough for me.
One of them, what I thought would be another pen-pal, was something completely
different. I write this man since November 2003, I got his first letter just
before Christmas last year. When I took his letter out of the envelope, I could
feel his spirit, his energy, and I knew I had found my soul mate even without
reading the letter. To make a long story short, he felt the same, he told me
without knowing that I felt it too. It took us only till January 18th that we
expressed our love, first very carefully, not to scare the other away. In
February he proposed to me. I had no photo of him at all, and did not know
what he looked like. I told him that I was not going to accept a proposal by
letter and that he could ask me again when we would meet. This year I went
to visit him twice in June. He proposed again and I said yes. We will be married
hopefully on Feb. 12th 2005. I've again visited him last week (Thanksgiving) and
we had a wonderful time talking, touching, enjoying each others company. It was
never my intention to get into an intimate relationship with a prisoner, es-
pecially not with a 'lifer' cause that is what he is. AND I was still married
at that time.
We are positive that he will be released one beautiful day. What I am trying to
say is, there are so many beautiful things to share with these men, but before
you start writing you will have to realize that you must be prepared to a life-
long commitment or friendship, AND you will have to make absolutely clear about
what your expectations are and what he can expect from you. Don't think that
what happened to me, can't happen to you because that is what I thought too.
Don't send money, especially not when they ask for it, because when he is really
serious in his friendship and respect towards you, he will never ask you for
money. Be careful with falling in love, you and they can get hurt very easily
and there are men who take advantage of you and lead you on. Yes, Native
People are only human, the same as you and me. Well, there's only one more
thing I have left to say: enjoy! Cause it can be wonderful!
Take care, with respect, Peggy
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A
love story by
Sophia
I found Robert’s ad on this
website. I looked at his art and read his ad
and writing He seemed so lonely. His art was so beautiful. I returned to
his art page again and again. It spoke to me in a strange way. I looked
at his painting “King of the Plains” of two buffalo bulls fighting. And
the grass began to move and wind of more than a hundred years ago began
to blow and I heard the banging of the horns in my mind, I heard the cry
of an eagle overhead and all spoke to me in a foreign tongue as well as
in the language of my heart. I knew then that I had to write Robert. It
was also close to his birthday, so I took that as an excuse to write him,
as I was unsure about writing to a prisoner, like many of us are at first.
I asked him, “Do you wish to teach me of the world that lies inside your
heart? Your art tells me that there is much you can teach me about beauty.”
And I told him that to give back to him I would let him see the sun rise
through my eyes, let him hear the wind whisper in the trees through my
ears… and maybe, with time, we could make the world a better place…
Going through a difficult time in life myself, I asked him if he wished
to be my friend. “A friend… the prairie to the buffalo, the vast forests
to the wolf, the arrowless air to the eagle, the spirit to the heart…water
to all living beings…without water the strongest plant will dry out and
die…” In a strange way my life had put me in a place that gave us such a
similarity in feelings that I sometimes think of him as my twin….
He replied, “Yes, please take my eyes away from the ugly…” And I did: in
my letters I took both of us into memories and into dreams of places I had
been to and places I imagined.
I have never in my life met a man with such great kindness, respect,
carefulness, compassion, honesty and thankfulness over little things that
we can easily give, a picture, a book, a magazine…
We both were very careful when we first felt that we were more than friends.
He did not want to hurt my feelings. But finally we both dared to admit that
we love each other more than friends.
It has been wonderful to see Robert bloom, to see him want to live and learn
and create masterpieces, a smile on his face where there was a frown…
It has been difficult to hear him talk about “the ugly,” which is what he
calls everything unkind in the place where he lives. Please, anyone out there,
if you don’t wish to write to a prisoner, you can still make a huge difference
by ordering them a book or magazine (has to be sent from bookstore, Amazon,
B&N)… It will put a big smile on a face… Robert told me, “Only well-off white
people get books…” So it is an honor for me to send some to his friends as well…
Everybody out there who can find this in their hearts, Wopila! (Which means
“Thank you!” in Lakota….)
Sophia, born and raised in East Germany, living in USA
2008: In the meantime they are married and Robert is home!
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Another pen pal experience from "down under":
Hi Jessie, I just
wanted to tell you my story of my pen pal experience.
my name is Ellie and I come down under from Australia! I have been writing
to James for 1 year now it is the best thing to know you will be putting
a smile on your friends face every time they receive your letter, prison
life is so hard and tough and all these guys ask for is for a special
friend that will take a little time out of your daily life to write it
could be about anything. James is getting out this year and he proposed
to me and I'm going over to meet him this year its so
good because he is
only 24 and I'm 19 so we can start a new fresh life
together and were still
young. I want to make his life as best as I can and hopefully
help him out
emotionally, spiritually and financially you can get so
much out of anyone
whether they be behind bars or in the free world its what you both make of
it ... enjoy take care. Cheers, Ellie
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Marie from England found herself a true friend too:
Hello Jessie, It gives me great pleasure to write to you to first congra-
tulate you on a fantastic site, and on the marvelous work you are doing
in bringing people together from both sides of the wall. My story began
last year when I came across your site, and for months on end, went through
a lot of adds that are on your site, of people wanting to write to people,
so after a nerve wracking 6 months of looking I eventually put pen to paper,
and starting writing to an inmate. His name is Roy Marchand from Washington,
from the moment I saw him, and read his write up I knew we would get on well.
Although it has only been a few months that we have been writing to each
other,
I think he is so warm, friendly and honest. Although he cannot send pictures,
I have sent a couple to him, to cheer him up. I write long letters to him,
and receive the same back. I am so glad that I actually wrote to him, although
I was too nervous to actually do it in the first instance. We share the same
taste music, cars, animals, native American culture, it is a joy and a pleasure
to write to him.
Thank you so much Jessie.
You do a fantastic job.
Yours so very gratefully, Marie Cook,
England
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Mary from Holland also seems very satisfied:
First let me say what I wonderful
website this is!! Through this site I've
found the greatest friend I could ever wish for. About two years ago I was
searching on google for stuff about Native Americans when I came upon this
site..I started to read a few of the adds and somehow I started to interes-
ted in it, and read a lot of other adds. After some time I decided to write
one of them. 14 March 2005 I sended my first letter, and a few weeks later
on April 8 a week after my birthday I received his first letter, when I read
it, it felt like we did know each other for years. I was so touched by his
wonderful letter and his words. He was so thankful that I've wrote to him,
'cause he often felt very lonely in there... He told me that the letter
lifted up his day, that really touchd me, that one little letter, which
takes just a few minutes of your time to write can help somebody in there,
to get through the day, just to know that there is somebody on the other
side that cares for him or her. I've been writing my pal now for over a
year, and he's truly a great friend. I remember one time I felt really down,
I was in a depression, didn't liked life, but he was the reason for me not
to give up on it!! He learns me to appresiate life and appresiate what i've
got. Since a few weeks I've got an other penpal and hope to build up an other
great friendship. 'cause what they need in there is a friend!! A real friend,
somebody who they can trust, share their thoughts, tears and ofcourse also
their laughter with. Somebody who is there for them!! I hope that a lot of
people also will start writing. 'cause they need it!!
Jessie, thanks again for your wonderful page!!
Mary from holland
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A heartbreaking story by Ann-Kristin from Norway:
I'm Ann-Kristin Enoksen from
Norway. Around 5-6 years ago a letter
dropped down in my mailbox. It was from a Indian man. He didn't tell
me that he was in prison for a long time, since he was scared I would
stop writing him. I didn't mind that he was in prison at all. And re-
plying to his letter is one thing I'll always be grateful for. Because
this man became my closest friend over the years. There isn't a person
other than him that knows the real me. My deepest thoughts, my dreams,
everything really. His letters were always a light in my life. They al-
ways cheered me up. He always wrote something funny, a joke, or a draw-
ing to put a smile on my face. And it worked every time :) On July 11-
2006 I got this sudden urge to Google his name on the web. And I was
shocked by my findings. You see, only 2 days before had the obituary
been published on some news site. A part of me died that day. I remem-
ber wondering about not hearing from him the month before my discovery.
My best friend died on the July 2. And sadly the obituary didn't say
anything about the reason. So it's tearing my heart apart not knowing
how and why he died. I'm still dealing with the grief of his death. A
part of me just does not want to believe that he's gone. He never told
me the name of his sister, so I don't have any chance to contact her.
I've tried writing the prison in St.Louis two times. But haven't heard
anything. So I'll just have to learn to accept not learning the answers
to the questions that are haunting my mind. Losing him, is one of the
hardest thing I've ever had to experience. RIP Coyote....
Ann-Kristin Enoksen from Norway
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Positive response from an inmate's mother:
Greetings. I
have had a son who had
his ad on this site, so this is how I came
to your wonderful Pen Pal Service! I also write to someone from the Pen
Pal listings, so far I made a new friend! My experience has been moving
in a positive direction with our correspondence. Many Blessings to you for
providing this site. S. Rose
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Short but powerful:
I've enjoyed my new experiences
being a pen pal. To be able to make
someone smile, laugh or just correspond gives me a great feeling. If
nothing at all, I no that the individual I write to has hopes and
dreams just like anyone else. We must understand that we to can be
on the other side!
Thank You for Giving me an opportunity to express my experience!
Isabel Romo
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Another Marie from England shares her experience:
Hi, my name is Marie and I started
to write to 1 man called Casey
and he is lovely. And now because of him I'm writing to 6 more that
I found through this website. They are very interesting and very down
to earth. I would tell anybody to take the chance and pick 1 or 2 and
send them a letter. I did and I'm so glad I did, I have someone to talk
to and I'm there for them to talk too.
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